I Love the Post Man!!!!!

So, today was drudge, drudge, drudge. Usually, I am a free spirit at work, and get there just before my start time, take about 36 minutes for lunch, instead of 30, and relish the last half hour when I am the only one in the office. Yay! That is the only time I will stay as long as it takes me to finish my work. Of course, no one in "power" sees that side of me, and the little rebel in me refuses to bend to the "accepted" way of doing things. Today, I started 45 minutes early, cut my lunch short by about 5 minutes, and worked an extra 45 minutes afterward. On the way home, I remembered that we were out of dog food as of this morning, and unless I wanted to run out of cat food by feeding my canines cat food, I had to get to the pet store for food. I drove to a neighboring town and hit the box store for my 41 pounds of uncontaminated dog food. Then I decided to treat myself to a decent meal and dropped into the local Mexican eatery -- no, not a Taco Hell, but a real, honest-to-goodness, family-run Mexican restaurant, run by a father and son, waitstaffed with latino senoritas, and patronized by local Mexican people.
Dragging myself home, I stopped at my tilted mailbox (a great game with the local snow-plow driver -- "Get the Mailboxes!!!!!") and pulled out an armload of goodies! I couldn't wait to get them home to see what I'd received.
First, there was the new $3 coupon for the Big Box Pet Store I like; then there was the invitation to the local car dealer offering great prizes to match their numbers. I love going there and arguing with the turkey at the desk about cars, then claiming my $2 McD's coupon, or my $2000 shopping spree on the internet (haven't found anything yet that I want to buy from them). I maintain the hope that one day, they will slip and award me the $10,000 prize.
The best thing I received in the mail today was my long-sought-after 1937 tome by Irving Tressler: "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People". Call me weird, but I found this little gem ages ago when I was about 10 or 12. I'd read just about every other book in the local library (this was also before libraries shared books to expand your horizons) when I came across Tressler's book. You need to understand that I've always been a bit of a smartass, even as a child. This was especially horrid, because I was a Catholic child. Arguments with the nuns about whether or not my pet dog would go to heaven got me bad marks right from the start. Add a sardonic wit, and a penchant for not keeping my mouth shut, and I was trouble right there. Add a book such as Tressler's and all bets are off.
I was browsing the website of one of the large bookstores, when I noticed the button: Used and Out of Print. I'd looked for this book over the years: back at the original library, at book sales, used book shops, other websites, you name it! I hit this button, and typed in the name of the book, and up it came! At a bargain price, no less! I was thrilled and ordered it immediately. Receiving it in the mail at the end of this long and arduous day just brightened everything for me.
For instance, the book opens with "10 Things This Book Will Do For You:
1. Get you out of a mental rut. This isn't the rutting season anyhow. What are you doing in it?
2. Arouse enthusiasm amoung your friends -- enthusiasm for sudden engagements they just remembered.
3. Give you 10-15 more miles per gallon and relieve you of any flat tires you get stuck with.
4. Replace tick-tack-toe games at lectures.
5. Get you out of distasteful social engagements quicker than you got into them.
6. Give you those quiet evenings alone you've yearned for ever since the neighbors "accepted" you.
7. Decrease your influence, enable you to get twice as much done as before.
8. Teach you how to antagonize anyone, anywhere, anytime without the aid of dandruff.
9. Increase your happiness by decreasing that of others.
10. Replace pains in your neck with aches in your sides."

I know, sounds weird, but to my warped mind, it's just a little bit of ice cream, so to speak. I'm actually going to cut this short and go read my new book!