LifeInTheFastLane.....

Whew! Thought I'd make an appointment with myself to do some actual work on here! I can't believe that writers are supposed to WRITE! I've always believed that one had to do some living in order to write -- now I'm starting to suspect that real writers actually have a talent for writing, even though they are not really out there LIVING!!!!!

Much water has flowed under the proverbial bridge. Let's see....ever unsatisfied with my day job. Office politics I can handle, it's the slavery/subservience (sp?) I object to. Don't like my supervisor, don't like the way the boss let's her trample the rest of us. Neither of them have any employee skills, and they are afraid of us. Instead of "positive reinforcement", they both prefer to browbeat. I hate negativism, and that's as far as I'll go.

Spring is definitely underway, although I am not thrilled with the cool temperatures and constant rain. I haven't been able to get my kayak in the water yet, and tonight, for the first time in two weeks, I was finally able to get some of my grass mowed. I was well on my way to finishing, but the mower belt broke. My mission tomorrow is to go out and get a new belt, then replace it! I did get one of the push mowers going, but there is no way I'll do all of the rest of the yard with THAT! I love the way the yard looks when it is done. It smells great, too. The dogs are funny while I'm mowing, Princess is so aware of her leash, she moves to move the leash out of my way; and Brutus acts as though he's being punished.

Okay, now for the BIG NEWS: I am a Quasi-Celebrity. I think that would be the correct term...I have been written up in the Miami Herald, Sunday Edition... Here's the story behind the story....In February, Thelma and I took a little trip to The Florida Keys. This was my second trip there, since I have an annual conference in Miami. Why the conference? Check out my website: litds.unfranchise.com and see what else I'm up to.

Anyway, we decided to hit the Keys for a few days before my meeting. I'd already done the legwork and had motel reservations, and a little kayak trip scheduled. The rest of the time, I wanted to "chill"... and just dangle my feet in the Gulf while sipping Margaritas. Well, silly me, traveling with Thelma is anything BUT sitting! We saw nearly everything there is to see, even if only for a half an hour here, half an hour there...but we're still fast friends, and we really enjoyed ourselves. We did find the Key Deer, wild alligators and iguanas. Then we reported to the Kayak outfitter for our guided trip into the Mangroves. I'd made that reservation through the tourist office, so I wasn't sure what to expect, other than it was supposed to be a four-hour trip. When we got there, I explained that I was supposed to make the trip with two other women, but Thelma was there, couldn't swim, had never kayaked before and was quite nervous. The oufitter said "no sweat" and assigned us to another, shorter trip, "without snorkeling". WHAT????! I hadn't been aware of the snorkeling, but I agreed to the shorter trip. We had such a great time, and Thelma even enjoyed it! It was indeed a great choice.

The rest of the trip consisted of shopping, seafood, music, turtle races, shopping, hair braiding, beach, shopping, key lime pie, seafood, shopping, turtle hospital, and lots and lots of Island music, including plenty of Jimmy Buffet everywhere.

On Wednesday, I dropped Thelma at the airport and went to find my other friends for the conference starting on Thursday. This trip to Miami wasn't too bad. I was prepared for Miami this time, and despite the horrendous taxi gouging, the rest of the trip was fine. More seafood, good conference, and more shopping. Great friends.

Once I arrived home, it took me a couple weeks to remember the kayaking outifitter and their "other" trip.... so I went online, to see if I could see what I had missed. The opening page blew me away -- "Win This Job!" Including salary and housing, the would-be employer asks applicants to fill out an application and write a 300 word essay. Believe it or not, I didn't do that immediately. I thought about it non-stop for two days, then I went back to the computer and filled out the application. It took me awhile to write the 300 words, but I thought I did a pretty good job. A few days later, I went back and read the small print. I found out the job wouldn't start for another year, and that the future employer would be checking over applications each month, culling applicants. That gave me an idea: I am going to apply every month!

Of course, that first essay covered my background and a plea to "Pick me, pick me!" (I'd run out of words, well before the 300.) My second essay started out "Chapter Two" and I filled this one all the way to 297 words. Shortly after that submission, I received a phone call from a reporter from the Miami Herald for a piece to go into the Sunday Edition. The article did indeed appear, and I was only one of two persons interviewed. At that time, there were only about one hundred other applicants, but I am sure that number grew significantly once the article appeared. I am thinking about my angle for this month.....

What else? Working on about 4 different committees at the zoo: my usual Summer Guides (I love it because I can be invisible or not, but seeing all my animals.); Birds of Prey (crowd control, information); Animal Enrichment (paper mache' Easter eggs, grapevine balls, treatsicles); Zoo Ball (behind the scenes stuff)....photographs of everything...... Photo club once a month, and a spot on the Pow Wow committee. I'm finally starting to think.... a bit much, eh?

In my Spare Time: Reading:- The DaVinci Code (finally went paperback- what can I say?) I have eschewed my Catholic Church upbringing - believe in God and the Ten Commandments -- don't believe the heretics who are charitable only if it's high profile. So I find the whole hubbub about this book and the soon to be open movie hilarious! When people backpeddle so hard, I just have to laugh! I won't argue with them, I just laugh! The book makes you think, but, like the Bible, people are going to draw their own conclusions. So what? At least they're thinking!

CD books: Paper Life by Tatum O'Neil -- yegads, what a messed up family!
Music: Toby Keith - White Trash with Money -- Love his writing, lines like "I took your leaving with a little salt -- and tequila and lime" Wish I'd written that one myself. Also Jimmy Buffet's new "Hoot" good mix of styles, not just a Jimmy Buffet platter. Also, picked up an Oldie, Jimmy Buffet's Meet Me in Margaritaville. (So I'm a late bloomer of a Jimmy Buffet fan. Sue me!)

Life Advances

Okay, Okay, I have to get the computer upgraded. I'm falling behind here..... Running around like a chicken with my head cut off.... Had last Friday Afternoon off from work, and the weather was nice. Asked my friend Vicki if she'd like to get the kayaks wet. She was getting off work at 2, so I decided to take my lawn tractor tire in to be fixed. Then I was supposed to call her. Well, it seems the rest of the world had decided the same thing. Not only did it take too long to get the tire fixed, the skies were turning blacker and blacker. It had rained considerably in the morning, and it looked like it was going to happen again. I called Vicki, and we decided to wimp out in place of caution. The lake we were going to paddle was not a friendly one in wicked weather.

Needless to say, once I retrieved my tire and found a place to grab a bite of lunch, the sun came out and thumbed it's nose at me. It was then too late to get home, change clothes and load the boats onto the car. I'd decided I had to be a "good girl" and got busy on the tractor. UNBELIEVABLY, I put the wheel back on without incident, checked the oil, and the gas - looked at the spark plug (the machine wouldn't start last fall, after it sat silent most of the drought-beseiged summer), thought the spark plug looked too new to be a problem, and plugged in the key... IT STARTED RIGHT UP!!!

I hadn't had time to clean up the dog poop, or gather all the sticks and twigs and BRANCHES my four beloved oak trees had dropped, Heck, I didn't even have a full tank of gasoline. But if you knew what I've been through with that antique lawn tractor, sold at Montgomery Wards circa 1972, you would have applauded my decision to cut "because the damned thing is running!" The dogs know the drill - Princess is on her long leash and knows she has to stay to one side as I make my rounds. Brutus was told to stay by Princess or he'd be put on a leash, as well. He takes that command seriously, because it has happened, and being a Lab, being tied up is just cruel. I cut most of the lawn, leaving the front for later, after I get the remains of the fallen tree out of the way.

Once I put the lawn tractor back in its spot, I decided to try to get my birthday present out and see how it works: my new kayak rack. Well, let me tell you, whoever wrote the directions for THAT contraption needs to get another job. Side note: I AM mechanically inclined AND I read directions. The racks needed an extra mount because of the kind of roof rack on my car, that and the "adapter" that was included in two forms, had me completely stymied. The instructions were ridiculous: Take the bases of the "J" pieces and revolve the top part to line up the large holes facing the back of the vehicle. Huh? Yes, and I was LOOKING at these things! Didn't make any more sense that way!! I finally threw everything back in the box and headed to the shop they came from. Three people there couldn't figure them out, and I left the rack there for them to enjoy. "Call me when you figure it out."

Saturday, I was up fairly early and was able to get a slight bit of housework done before I left for the zoo. The Animal Enrichment Committee (of which I am co-chair), had worked for the past two weekends making paper-mache' Easter eggs and painting them. They were given to the zookeepers to fill with treats, and I'd been given a schedule of when they were going to distribute them and to whom. I'd forgotten that it was also Egg Day for human children and it took me nearly 40 minutes just to get into the parking lot. I'm out of practice! Then there's Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day, Zoo Ball, Operation Freedom Day, Milwaukee Ala Carte, Labor Day, Harvest Weekend......just a few of those times that getting to the Zoo at 8:00 a.m. is preferrable. Fortunately, I'd planned to get there early to get some business taken care of, but I just about had to sprint straight to the Feline Building (we call it the Cat House) to catch the Leopard and Tigers receiving their "eggs". They really put on a show, and the kids got a kick out of the story I told them about the eggs.

The elephants acted as though they'd been expecting the treats, then they ate the eggs. Next I hiked over to the wolves. The keepers work in pairs with the wolves and can enter the exhibit without taking the animals out. The Alpha wolf followed the keeper with the eggs and, of course, grabbed the first egg. The others followed and each were able to secure an egg for themselves. I'd learned from the zookeepers that because of the wolves' pack order and the strict adherence to wolf protocol, the keepers always give the wolves one or two extra treats to ensure that they all get a treat. They were fun to watch as they explored, and played "keepaway". I even got some photographs of the Alpha wolf pooping on his egg once the treats were all extracted.

The last on the list were the Alaskan Brown Bears. THEY were taken off exhibit while the keepers wedged the big eggs into the crook of the tree in their enclosure. As soon as the keepers went in, the bears trotted out. Instantly, they caught the scent of something new in the area. Boris missed it at first, but when Aaurora came out, she went straight to the tree. She tugged the egg down, and it broke, spilling some of the treats for Boris to pick up. While Aurora was still busy with her egg, Boris began a search of his own. He had to climb the tree to get it, but he pulled the egg down. By this time, Aurora was finished with hers, so she wanted to help Boris with his. He climbed as high as he could get on the rocks, and sat down with his goodies. He had dropped some, so Aurora didn't follow him. As I watched, he slowly finished every last bit of yummy, then he ate the egg, as well.

Depite the fact that I then went home, grabbed the dogs and went to Mom's for the night and we were together for Easter Sunday Morning, the Zoo is definitely the place to celebrate the holiday.....even if you have kids!

Currently reading: The DaVinci Code -- finally went paperback - I'm exceptionally frugal (i.e. cheap). Just started it..already riveting. Also: Quit Your Job and Move to Key West; and Wayne Dyer's books on CD, Being in Balance and Spirituality (can you say MULTI-tasking)

Music: Always Country, and looking forward to picking up Toby Keith's new CD: White Trash With Money - I'm intrigued with the words of one song: "I'm taking your leaving with a grain of salt...and tequila and lime". I love the play with words that so many country songs have. Always a "why didn't I write that?"

More to come:TV Commercials, new glasses, kayaking

Am I Advertising, or What?

So, What's this all about? You may be asking yourself, is this chick advertising for a date, or what? No, you might be thinking to yourself that EVERY single woman is always "trolling" for a man, or else she's gay.... Well, you're wrong. I've been married, and now I'm not. But I'm a long way from "desperate".
Tonight, this minute, what has me riled up is the fact that a friend of mine, strike that, a friend of my ex-husband was talking to me a couple days ago. When I think about it, I believe he was fishing for a response from me. He informed me that my ex-husband was using his truck because he'd finally decided to move in with his woman-friend. We've been divorced for 4 years, and he's been with her for 5 years, maintaining a separate apartment all this time, sort of a safety net, in case she kicks him out. Throughout a good portion of this time, he would often show up at my door and declare that they had parted ways and "offer" to stay with me for a night or so. Do I need to say here, THAT never happened? The so-called friend proceeded to tell me that the main reason the ex decided to move in with his chick was because he is getting older and he certainly doesn't want to end up growing old alone. Excuse me????? HE left ME when he decided that he needed to go out and "find" himself. Look where he found himself...
Yes, he is out of my life, and I say "good riddance", but I do admit that this relationship really "did me in" emotionally. I've had some dates over the past couple years, but I can't seem to get to second base... The trust was so shattered.... I've actually sent a couple guys back to their ex-wives! I know, I exaggerate, but just a little....

No, I don't need a shrink. Today is just a low kind of day. I'm proud to say that I'm really enjoying my life these days. I've learned to Kayak and have become rabid about it. I've also picked up my camera again, and am working on getting my stuff "out there". The house is coming along slow, but sure, and I love life! The reason the ex-husband thing was up front and center was because it just happened a couple days ago. Actually, when I was formulating the idea for this blog, I was thinking of ways to let people know that a forward-thinking woman is interesting and certainly a force to be reckoned with.

As the week and yes, the Month of March come to a close, I am checking my calendar to see how I will dole out my spare hours for the coming summer, dividing them between the water and my love of animals (I volunteer at the zoo, too!) My camera is almost always with me, and I heartily thank the inventor of the Digital Camera and HUGE memory cards!

I promise SOON to get my computer upgraded so I may post some of my wonderful images.

So, check in again soon, and I hope to entertain you further....